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Monday, July 11, 2011

Something new every day (Breasts! Sex! Panties!)




One of these is a sheath and one is a shift. Which is which I have no idea.




It’s the first anniversary of ManWAR, and so a good time to reflect on what I’ve learned. I mean, since that’s the whole focus of the blog, and all.

Stuff I learned

• Women will go to the mall specifically to buy panties, but won’t call them panties once they’re wearing them.
• People from all over the world will read your blog if you put words like sex, breasts and panties in the headline. Especially panties.
• Men think about sex every seven seconds.
• Any scene can be improved by simply describing what everyone’s wearing.
• There is nothing subtle about the difference between a full Brazilian and an American wax.
• Never say a woman likes what she sees in the mirror.
• Men think about sex every seven seconds. Wait—oops.
• Women love their sex scenes.
• Writer’s conference attendees will be tickled to receive a bookmark that touts a blog that chronicles the development of an e-book that isn’t finished yet. Of course, writer’s conference attendees are tickled to receive anything that’s free.

Stuff I already knew but had to be told nonetheless
• Women don’t like the feel of unshaven cheeks scraping their thighs.
• Women’s clothing sizes ascend in increments of two, which means you look like an idiot if you say one negligee is twelve sizes larger than another.
• More women will read a blog post illustrated with a topless picture of David Beckham than one graced with a nearly topless shot of Anna Semenovich.

Stuff I’ll always have to look up
• The difference between a sheath and a shift. (And even then I can’t tell. How does anyone?)

Most of all, though, I found out that writing a romance novel is a blast. I’ve also made new friends along the way, and that’s made the experience even more worthwhile.

Fast Lane, an idea conceived twenty-four years ago, is finally a 283-page novel. It’s not the novel I thought it would be back then—and that’s a good thing. Especially since I was originally writing it as a screenplay.

My editor and some other beta readers have it now, which means I’ll have more work to do later. But that’s okay. It’s not really work if it’s fun.

And that’s something I already knew but did not have to be told.

6 comments:

Mary Jo said...

Happy blog anniversary! Glad the Internet hasn't killed you.

Dave Thome said...

Yet, you mean?

I've also been keeping a close eye on my sternum.

Kirk Farber said...

Congratulations on your first anniversary! And way to go finishing that novel. Very cool. Concerning your blog title--you had me at Breasts! And I'm curious, if men are already thinking about sex, does the 7-second clock stop? Or can you be thinking about sex for 7 seconds and then interrupt yourself with more sex thoughts--would that throw off the stats? That last sentence took me 7 seconds to write. Rock on, ManWAR.

Dave Thome said...

Yes, I believe I have had the exact experience you describe.

Donna McDonald said...

Happy blogiversary!

I just had to make a new note to myself to 1) never read your new blog post in the coffee shop because laughing out loud when you're alone seems to creep others out and 2) especially never read it with a mouthful of coffee. It's hard to clean your computer off afterward.

Dave Thome said...

Another thing learned because of ManWAR.